Unacceptable
by Kristee Loory Van-Hoyte
Summary: Even love can't help when some things are unacceptable for your family. And it hurst even if they have a reason. Warning: turtlecest


It's TMNT. And I don't own them. Never did.  
**Title**: Unacceptable  
**Pairing**: Raph/Don  
**Raiting**: T? I dunno.  
**Warning**: turtlecest, angst.  
**Summary**: Some things are just unacceptable. And it hurts...  
**For you**: I hope You enjoy it. Any tips and comments are welcome. Thank You for reading!

* * *

Life was a battlefield.  
For four mutated turtles living in the sewers and taught by taking rat every day was a battlefield. A challenge brought to test their skills and abilities, a threat that could break through every moment and turn everything upside down, a lesson they were forced to learn the hard way. They had to stay alert all the time to survive and baring in mind the number of enemies they had sometimes it was quite uneasy task.  
But as if in attempt to make things little more fair fate gave them home, that was one of few places they could relax in. Donatello built and upgraded security system and now anyone's approach was not going to be undetected. That made their Lair one place they always wanted to return to, despite the smell that could be there or water dripping from roast pipes or anything else that usually makes home not very pleasant place to be in. But as long as they had it, had each other and father that didn't really matter.  
That's why it hurt especially badly when home suddenly became not what it used to be.  
Raphael stopped near the door to his room, staring at darkened wood and trying to clear his mind from rising jolts of irritation and anger. His body was still hot from long work out, but even this hadn't been able to calm him down. Tiredness couldn't help either.  
To tell the truth nothing could, because in his own home, place that was supposed to be warm, safe and comforting, he felt like an enemy since the day others had found out that he and Donnie were lovers.

_Him and Leo, not related. Leo and Mikey, not related. Leo and Don, not related.  
Him and Donnie-  
Related.  
Raphael stared at the paper. Then at Donnie.  
The purple clad turtle's eyes were wide and sad.  
Raph let go of the paper and took Donnie's head instead, pressing beak against beak.  
He didn't care._

Lair became if not a battlefield then at least some courtyard. His father was a judge. Leo and Mikey – prosecutors. He and Donnie – criminals.  
Court had been fast and heavy. They had been accused and recognized guilty. There were no layer by their side, they tried to protect themselves, but nobody actually listened.  
Raphael closed his eyes for a moment. He wanted to go to Don's room knowing that his brother was waiting for him as he did every moment of every day. He wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him that everything was going to be ok, that they can be together without need to hide or lie, that life was going to be different soon. He wanted to stay with his mate, wanted to go to sleep having kissed genius good night and wake up having warm Donnie in his arms.  
He just wanted to have a chance for happiness. Was it too much?

_"Hide it, Don."  
Silence.  
"Tear it apart. They won't know."  
Heavy sigh.  
"But I do. We do."  
He gritted his teeth. There was one chance out of hundredth for them to be happy, but even this one was against them. _

Raphael stepped from one foot to another attempting to turn around and go to Don's room, but was stopped by the familiar feeling of penetrating glance drilling into the back of his head. He didn't have to turn to see who it was.  
Without looking back or saying anything Raph opened the door and slammed it shut behind one second later. His room, his private space, his own shelter was one of his most favorite places in the world, but now, without Donnie swaying in his hammock telling something or simply day dreaming while he was reading or just watching his lover, it was dull, cold and unbearably empty.  
Having closed his eyes, Raphael leaned back against the door.  
Never before he believed he could be so cold.

_"This is just can't be, Raphael. Why can't you understand that?"  
He wanted to answer, to object, to defend himself and Donnie, to get angry, but all he could do was standing there in front of his family with his head lowered and fists clenched and thinking about anything except for their words.  
Inadmissible. Impossible. Unacceptable.  
What could he confront here? All he had were deep feelings for his own, blood-related brother, but he had already sounded them. And they had been already crushed under the avalanche of rules, restrictions and taboos._

He shook his head chasing away the memory then suddenly froze having noticed the movement inside his room. It took few moments to relax against unexpected intrusion, but even if it was unexpected, it was still very welcomed. Donnie was winging in his hammlock, eyes half hooded, face sad.  
Shell he hated seeing him sad.  
"Donnie?" Raphael did one step towards his brother. "What are ya doing here?"  
Genius looked at him then gave tiny insecure smile.  
"You want me to leave?" He asked quietly, hints of fear in his soft voice.  
Having frowned slightly, Raphael dashed forward, pulled his lover out of the hammlock and into tight embrace. He kissed him after he felt Don's tension subduing and leaned back to look into those dark eyes that always had unbelievable power over him.  
"Never." Raph grunted nuzzling other's beck. "But it was ya saying we should keep away from each other for some time to give others chance to calm down and accept us."  
"I know." Donatello admitted, pressing closer to dark green terrapin. "But it keeps getting too long… And I miss you."  
Raphael kissed him again, longer and deeper this time. He smiled as he heard Donnie churring quietly.  
"I miss ya too." Hothead embraced him tighter.  
They stood like this for some time, hugging and not saying anything, simply having comfort in each other's presence and not willing to break apart until Donatello sighed heavily.  
"I'm starting to think they'll never accept us." He muttered.  
To tell the truth those were Raph's thoughts too, but right now he knew Donnie didn't look for agreement. He needed encouragement.  
"Of course they will, Donnie." Raphael made sure his voice sounded confident and convincing. "Just give them some more time. They will understand. Eventually."  
"Right…" Don's fingers rubbed circles on Raph's shoulder. "But…"  
They both knew what question was coming, but somehow it was important to speak it aloud.  
"What if they won't?"  
Raphael kept silence for many long heavy moments. He really didn't know. Of course there was no way he was going to let Donnie go, but his brother already knew it. It was not about them, it was about family. Team. Soul bonds.  
"I don't know, Donnie." He stated finally. "But there's one thing I'm sure of – we can face whatever will come together. And we will stand it."  
He knew Donatello was smiling even if his face was hidden on Raphael's plastron. And even if it was small tired smile it was still there.  
He just hoped he'll have enough strength to keep it there till the day they'll be finally accepted.  
Or completely rejected.


End file.
